Near Death Experience that brings a smile to my face.

I found this story so full of hope and love. So full of many truths that we all need to be reminded of. It made me smile, and I hope it does the same for you.  Many thanks to the author for sharing his journey. Namaste ~Kat

Near-Death Experience NDE Story
of Mellen-Thomas Benedict
Journey Through the Light and Back


Spirit And Sky Top Site Award

In 1982 I died from terminal cancer. The
condition I had was inoperable, and any kind of
chemotherapy they could give me would just have
made me more of a vegetable. I was given six to eight months to live.

I had been an information freak in the1970’s, and
I had become increasingly despondent over the
nuclear crisis, the ecology crisis, and so forth.
So, since I did not have a spiritual basis, I
began to believe that nature had made a mistake,
and that we were probably a cancerous organism on
the planet. I saw no way that we could get out
from all the problems we had created for
ourselves and the planet. I perceived all humans
as cancer, and that is what I got.

That is what killed me. Be careful what your
world view is. It can feed back on you,
especially if it is a negative world view. I had
a seriously negative one. That is what led me
into my death. I tried all sorts of alternative
healing methods, but nothing helped.

So I determined that this was really just between
me and God. I had never really faced God before,
or even dealt with God. I was not into any kind
of spirituality at the time, but I began a
journey into learning about spirituality and
alterna¬tive healing. I set out to do all the
reading I could and bone up on the subject,
because I did not want to be surprised on the
other side. So I started reading on various
religions and philosophies. They were all very
interesting, and gave hope that there was
something on the other side. I ended up in hospice care.

I remember waking up one morning at home about
4:30 AM, and I just knew that this was it. This
was the day I was going to die. So I called a few
friends and said goodbye. I woke up my hospice
caretaker and told her. I had a private agreement
with her that she would leave my dead body alone
for six hours, since I had read that all kinds of
interesting things happen when you die. I went back to sleep.

The next thing I remember is the beginning of a
typical near-death experience. Suddenly I was
fully aware and I was standing up, but my body
was in the bed. There was this darkness around
me. Being out of my body was even more vivid than
ordinary experience. It was so vivid that I could
see every room in the house, I could see the top
of the house, I could see around the house, I could see under the house.

There was this Light shining. I turned toward the
Light. The Light was very similar to what many
other people have described in their near-death
experiences. It was so magnificent. It is
tangible; you can feel it. It is alluring; you
want to go to it like you would want to go to
your ideal mother’s or father’s arms.

As I began to move toward the Light, I knew
intuitively that if I went to the Light, I would
be dead. So as I was moving toward the Light I
said, “Please wait a minute, just hold on a
second here. I want to think about this; I would
like to talk to you before I go.” To my surprise,
the entire experience halted at that point. You
are in control of your life after death
experience. You are not on a roller coaster ride.

So my request was honored and I had some
conversations with the Light. The Light kept
changing into different figures, like Jesus,
Buddha, Krishna, mandalas, archetypal images and
signs. I asked the Light, “What is going on here?
Please, Light, clarify yourself for me. I really
want to know the reality of the situation.” I
cannot really say the exact words, because it was sort of telepathy.

The Light responded. The information transferred
to me was that during your life after death
experience your beliefs shape the kind of
feedback you are getting before the Light. If you
were a Buddhist or Catholic or Fundamentalist,
you get a feedback loop of your own stuff. You
have a chance to look at it and examine it, but
most people do not. As the Light revealed itself
to me, I became aware that what I was really seeing was our higher Self matrix.

We all have a higher Self, or an oversoul part of
our being. It revealed itself to me in its truest
energy form. The only way I can really describe
it is that the being of the higher Self is more
like a conduit. It did not look like that, but it
is a direct connection to the Source that each
and every one of us has. We are directly
connected to the Source. So the Light was showing
me the higher Self matrix. I was not committed to
one particular religion. So that is what was
being fed back to me during my life after death experience.

As I asked the Light to keep clearing for me, to
keep explaining, I understood what the higher
Self matrix is. We have a grid around the planet
where all the higher Selves are connected. This
is like a great company, a next subtle level of
energy around us, the spirit level, you might
say. Then, after a couple of minutes, I asked for
more clarification. I really wanted to know what
the universe is about, and I was ready to go at
that time. I said “I am ready, take me.”

Then the Light turned into the most beautiful
thing that I have ever seen: a mandala of human
souls on this planet. Now I came to this with my
negative view of what was happening on the
planet. So as I asked the Light to keep
clarifying for me, I saw in this magnificent
mandala how beautiful we all are in our essence,
our core. We are the most beautiful creations.

The human soul, the human matrix that we all make
together is absolutely fantastic, elegant,
exotic, everything. I just cannot say enough
about how it changed my opinion of human beings
in that instant. I said, “Oh, God, I did not know
how beautiful we are.” At any level, high or low,
in whatever shape you are in, you are the most beautiful creation, you are.

The revelations coming from the Light and seemed
to go on and on, then I asked the Light, “Does
this mean that Mankind will be saved?” Then, like
a trumpet blast with a shower of spiraling
lights, the Great Light spoke, saying, “Remember
this and never forget; you save, redeem and heal
yourself. You always have. You always will. You
were created with the power to do so from before the beginning of the world.”

In that instant I realized even more. I realized
that WE HAVE ALREADY BEEN SAVED, and we saved
ourselves because we were designed to
self-correct like the rest of God’s universe.
This is what the second coming is about. I
thanked the Light of God with all my heart. The
best thing I could come up with was these simple
words of total appreciation: “Oh dear God, dear
Universe, dear Great Self, I Love My Life.”

The Light seemed to breathe me in even more
deeply. It was as if the Light was completely
absorbing me. The Love Light is, to this day,
indescribable. I entered into another realm, more
profound than the last, and became aware of
something more, much more. It was an enormous
stream of Light, vast and full, deep in the Heart
of Life. I asked what this was.

The Light responded, “This is the RIVER OF LIFE.
Drink of this manna water to your heart’s
content.” So I did. I took one big drink and then
another. To drink of Life Itself! I was in ecstasy.

Then the Light said, “You have a desire.” The
Light knew all about me, everything past, present
and future. “Yes!” I whispered.

I asked to see the rest of the Universe; beyond
our solar system, beyond all human illusion. The
Light then told me that I could go with the
Stream. I did, and was carried Through the Light
at the End of the Tunnel. I felt and heard a
series of very soft sonic booms. What a rush!

Suddenly I seemed to be rocketing away from the
planet on this stream of Life. I saw the earth
fly away. The solar system, in all its splendor,
whizzed by and disappeared. At faster than light
speed, I flew through the center of the galaxy,
absorbing more knowledge as I went. I learned
that this galaxy, and all of the Universe, is
bursting with many different varieties of LIFE. I
saw many worlds. The good news is that we are not alone in this Universe!

As I rode this stream of consciousness through
the center of the galaxy, the stream was
expanding in awesome fractal waves of energy. The
super clusters of galaxies with all their ancient
wisdom flew by. At first I thought I was going
somewhere; actually traveling. But then I
realized that, as the stream was expanding, my
own consciousness was also expanding to take in
everything in the Universe! All creation passed
by me. It was an unimaginable wonder! I truly was
a Wonder Child; a babe in Wonderland!

At this point, I found myself in a profound
stillness, beyond all silence. I could see or
perceive FOREVER, beyond Infinity.

I was in the Void.

I was in pre-creation, before the Big Bang. I had
crossed over the beginning of time/the First
Word/the First vibration. I was in the Eye of
Creation. I felt as if I was touching the Face of
God. It was not a religious feeling. Simply I was
at one with Absolute Life and Consciousness.

When I say that I could see or perceive forever,
I mean that I could experience all of creation
generating itself. It was without beginning and
without end. That’s a mind expanding thought, isn’t it?

Scientists perceive the Big Bang as a single
event which created the Universe. I saw during my
life after death experience that the Big Bang is
only one of an infinite number of Big Bangs
creating Universes endlessly and simultaneously.
The only images that even come close in human
terms would be those created by super computers
using fractal geometry equations.

The ancients knew of this. They said God had
periodically created new Universes by breathing
out, and recreated other Universes by breathing
in. These epochs were called Yugas. Modern
science called this the Big Bang. I was in
absolute, pure consciousness. I could see or
perceive all the Big Bangs or Yugas creating and
recreating themselves. Instantly I entered into
them all simultaneously. I saw that each and
every little piece of creation has the power to
create. It is very difficult to try to explain
this. I am still speechless about this.

It took me years after I returned from my
near-death experience to assimilate any words at
all for the Void experience. I can tell you this
now: the Void is less than nothing, yet more than
everything that is! The Void is absolute zero;
chaos forming all possibilities. It is Absolute
Consciousness; much more than even Universal Intelligence.

The Void is the vacuum or nothingness between all
physical manifestations. The SPACE between atoms
and their components. Modern science has begun to
study this space between everything. They call it
Zero point. Whenever they try to measure it,
their instruments go off the scale, or to
infinity, so to speak. They have no way, as of
yet, to measure infinity accurately. There is
more of the 0 space in your own body and the Universe than anything else!

What mystics call the Void is not a void. It is
so full of energy, a different kind of energy
that has created everything that we are.
Everything since the Big Bang is vibration, from
the first Word, which is the first vibration. The
biblical “I am” really has a question mark after
it. “I am­What am I?” So creation is God
exploring God’s Self through every way
imaginable, in an on¬going, infinite exploration
through every one of us. I began to see during my
near-death experience that everything that is, is
the Self, literally, your Self, my Self.
Everything is the great Self. That is why God
knows even when a leaf falls. That is possible
because wherever you are is the center of the
universe. Wherever any atom is, that is the
center of the universe. There is God in that, and God in the Void.

As I was exploring the Void during my life after
death experience and all the Yugas or creations,
I was completely out of time and space as we know
it. In this expanded state, I discovered that
creation is about Absolute Pure Consciousness, or
God, coming into the Experience of Life as we
know it. The Void itself is devoid of experience.
It is pre life, before the first vibration.
Godhead is about more than Life and Death.
Therefore there is even more than Life and Death to experience in the Universe!

When I realized this I was finished with the
Void, and wanted to return to this creation, or
Yuga. It just seemed like the natural thing to
do. Then I suddenly came back through the second
Light, or the Big Bang, hearing several more
velvet booms. I rode the stream of consciousness
back through all of creation, and what a ride it
was! The super clusters of galaxies came through
me with even more insights. I passed through the
center of our galaxy, which is a black hole.
Black holes are the great processors or recyclers of the Universe.

Do you know what is on the other side of a Black
Hole? We are; our galaxy, which has been
reprocessed from another Universe. In its total
energy configuration, the galaxy looked like a
fantastic city of lights. All energy this side of
the Big Bang is light. Every sub atom, atom,
star, planet, even consciousness itself is made
of light and has a frequency and/or particle.
Light is living stuff. Everything is made of
light, even stones. So everything is alive.
Everything is made from the Light of God; everything is very intelligent.

As I rode the stream on and on, I could
eventually see a huge Light coming. I knew it was
the First Light; the higher Self Light Matrix of
our solar system. Then the entire solar system
appeared in the Light, accompanied by one of those velvet booms.

I could see all the energy that this solar system
generates, and it is an incredible light show! I
could hear the Music of the Spheres. Our solar
system, as do all celestial bodies, generates a
unique matrix of light, sound and vibratory
energies. Advanced civilizations from other star
systems can spot life as we know it in the
universe by the vibratory or energy matrix
imprint. It is child’s play. The earth’s Wonder
child (human beings) make an abundance of sound
right now, like children playing in the backyard of the universe.

The Light explained to me that there is no death;
we are immortal beings. We have already been
alive forever! I realized that we are part of a
natural living system that recycles itself
endlessly. I was never told that I had to come
back. I just knew that I would. It was only
natural, from what I had seen during my life after death experience.

I don’t know how long I was with the Light, in
human time. But there came a moment when I
realized that all my questions had been answered
and my return was near. When I say that all my
questions were answered on the other side, I mean
to say just that. All my questions have been
answered. Every human has a different life and
set of questions to explore. Some of our
questions are Universal, but each of us is
exploring this thing we call Life in our own
unique way. So is every other form of life, from
mountains to every leaf on every tree.

And that is very important to the rest of us in
this Universe. Because it all contributes to the
Big Picture, the fullness of Life. We are
literally God exploring God’s self in an infinite
Dance of Life. Your uniqueness enhances all of Life.

As I began my return to the life cycle, it never
crossed my mind, nor was I told that I would
return to the same body. It just did not matter.
I had complete trust in the Light and the Life
process. As the stream merged with the great
Light, I asked never to forget the revelations
and the feelings of what I had learned on the other side.

There was a “Yes.” It felt like a kiss to my soul.

Then I was taken back through the Light into the
vibratory realm again. The whole process
reversed, with even more information being given
to me. I came back home, and I was given lessons
from my near-death experience on the mechanics of
reincarnation. I was given answers to all those
little questions I had: “How does this work? How
does that work?” I knew that I would be reincarnated.

The earth is a great processor of energy, and
individual consciousness evolves out of that into
each one of us. I thought of myself as a human
for the first time, and I was happy to be that.
From what I have seen, I would be happy to be an
atom in this universe. An atom. So to be the
human part of God… this is the most fantastic
blessing. It is a blessing beyond our wildest
estimation of what blessing can be. For each and
every one of us to be the human part of this
experience is awesome, and magnificent. Each and
every one of us, no matter where we are, screwed
up or not, is a blessing to the planet, right where we are.

I went through the reincarnation process
expecting to be a baby somewhere. But I was given
a lesson on how individual identity and
consciousness evolve. I was so surprised when I
opened my eyes. I do not know why, because I
understood it, but it was still such a surprise
to be back in this body, back in my room with
someone looking over me crying her eyes out. It
was my hospice caretaker. She had given up an
hour and a half after finding me dead. My body
was stiff and inflexible. She went into the other
room. Then I awakened and saw the light outside.
I tried to get up to go to it, but I fell out of
the bed. She heard a loud “clunk,” ran in and found me on the floor.

When I recovered, I was very surprised and yet
very awed about what had happened to me during my
near-death experience. At first all the memory of
the trip that I have now was not there. I kept
slipping out of this world and kept asking, “Am I
alive?” This world seemed more like a dream than
that one. Within three days I was feeling normal
again, clearer, yet different than I had ever
felt in my life. My memory of my near-death
experience came back later. I could see nothing
wrong with any human being I had ever seen.
Before that I was really judgmental. I thought a
lot of people were really screwed up, in fact I
thought that everybody was screwed up but me. But I got clear on all that.

About three months later a friend said I should
get tested, so I went and got the scans and so
forth. I really felt good, so I was afraid of
getting bad news. I remember the doctor at the
clinic looking at the before and after scans,
saying, “Well, there is nothing here now.” I
said, “Really, it must be a miracle”’ He said
“No, these things happen; they are called
spontaneous remission.” He acted very
unimpressed. But here was a miracle, and I was
impressed, even if no one else was.

During my near-death experience I had a descent
into what you might call Hell, and it was very
surprising. I did not see Satan or evil. My
descent into Hell was a descent into each
person’s customized human misery, ignorance, and
darkness of not knowing. It seemed like a
miserable eternity. But each of the millions of
souls around me had a little star of light always
available. But no one seemed to pay attention to
it. They were so consumed with their own grief,
trauma and misery. But, after what seemed an
eternity, I started calling out to that Light,
like a child calling to a parent for help.

Then the Light opened up and formed a tunnel that
came right to me and insulated me from all that
fear and pain, That is what Hell really is. So
what we are doing is learning to hold hands, to
come together. The doors of Hell are open now. We
are going to link up, hold hands, and walk out of
Hell together. The Light came to me and turned
into a huge golden angel. I said, “Are you the
angel of death?” It expressed to me that it was
my oversoul, my higher Self matrix, a super
ancient part of ourselves. Then I was taken to the Light.

Soon our science will quantify spirit. Isn’t that
going to be wonderful? We are coming up with
devices now that are sensitive to subtle energy
or spirit energy. Physicists use these atomic
colliders to smash atoms to see what they are
made of. They have got it down to quarks and
charm, and all that. Well, one day they are going
to come down to the little thing that holds it
all together, and they are going to have to call
that … God. We are just beginning to understand
that we are creating too, as we go along. As I
saw forever, I came to a realm during my
near-death experience in which there is a point
where we pass all knowledge and begin creating
the next fractal, the next level. We have that
power to create as we explore. And that is God expanding itself through us.

Since my return I have experienced the Light
spontaneously, and I have learned how to get to
that space almost any time in my meditation. Each
one of you can do this. You do not have to die or
have a near-death experience to do this. It is
within your equipment; you are wired for it
already. The body is the most magnificent Light
being there is. The body is a universe of
incredible Light. Spirit is not pushing us to
dissolve this body. That is not what is
happening. Stop trying to become God; God is becoming you. Here.

I asked God: “What is the best religion on the
planet? Which one is right?” And Godhead said,
with great love: “I don’t care.” That was
incredible grace. When Godhead said, “I don’t
care,” I immediately understood that it is for us
to care about. It is important, because we are
the caring beings. It matters to us and that is
where it is important. What you have is the
energy equation in spirituality. Ultimate Godhead
does not care if you are Protestant, Buddhist, or
whatever. It is all a blooming facet of the
whole. I wish that all religions would realize it
and let each other be. It is not the end of each
religion, but we are talking about the same God.
Live and let live. Each has a different view. And
it all adds up to the big picture; it is all important.

I went over to the other side during my
near-death experience with a lot of fears about
toxic waste, nuclear missiles, the population
explosion, the rainforest. I came back loving
every single problem. I love nuclear waste. I
love the mushroom cloud; this is the holiest
mandala that we have manifested to date, as an
archetype. It, more than any religion or
philosophy on earth, brought us together all of a
sudden, to a new level of consciousness. Knowing
that maybe we can blow up the planet fifty times,
or 500 times, we finally realize that maybe we are all here together now.

For a period they had to keep setting off more
bombs to get it in to us. Then we started saying,
“we do not need this any more.” Now we are
actually in a safer world than we have ever been
in, and it is going to get safer. So I came back
from my near-death experience loving toxic waste,
because it brought us together. These things are
so big. As Peter Russell might say, these
problems are now “soul size.” Do we have soul size answers” YES!

The clearing of the rain forest will slow down,
and in fifty years there will be more trees on
the planet than in a long time. If you are into
ecology, go for it; you are that part of the
system that is becoming aware. Go for it with all
your might, but do not be depressed. It is part of a larger thing.

Earth is in the process of domesticating itself.
It is never again going to be as wild a place as
it once was. There will be great wild places,
reserves where nature thrives. Gardening and
reserves will be the thing in the future.
Population increase is getting very close to the
optimal range of energy to cause a shift in
consciousness. That shift in consciousness will change politics, money, energy.

After dying, going through my near-death
experience and coming back, I really respect life
and death. In our DNA experiments we may have
opened the door to a great secret. Soon we will
be able to live as long as we want to live in this body.

After living 150 years or so, there will be an
intuitive soul sense that you will want to change
channels. Living forever in one body is not as
creative as reincarnation, as transferring energy
in this fantastic vortex of energy that we are
in. We are actually going to see the wisdom of
life and death, and enjoy it. As it is now, we have already been alive forever.

This body, that you are in, has been alive
forever. It comes from an unending stream of
life, going back to the Big Bang and beyond.

This body gives life to the next life, in dense and subtle energy.

This body has been alive forever already.

NDE Research websites that carry Mellen’s story:


<>P.M.H. Atwater


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