Are we civilized?

“Before our white brothers arrived to make us civilized men, we didn’t have any kind of prison.
Because of this, we had no delinquents.
Without a prison, there can be no delinquents.
We had no locks nor keys and therefore among us there were no thieves.
When someone was so poor that he couldn’t afford a horse, a tent or a blanket, he would, in that case, receive it all as a gift.
We were too uncivilized to give great importance to private property.
We didn’t know any kind of money and consequently, the value of a human being was not determined by his wealth.
We had no written laws laid down, no lawyers, no politicians, therefore we were not able to cheat and swindle one another.
We were really in bad shape before the white men arrived and I don’t know how to explain how we were able to manage without these fundamental things that (so they tell us) are so necessary for a civilized society.”
~John (Fire) Lame Deer

good thoughts

Great Spirit,
give us hearts to understand;
Never to take from creation's beauty more than we give;
Never to destroy wantonly for the furtherance of greed;
Never to deny to give our hands for the building of earth's beauty;
Never to take from her what we cannot use.

Give us hearts to understand
That to destroy earth's music is to create confusion;
That to wreck her appearance is to blind us to beauty;
That to callously pollute her fragrance is to make a house of stench;
That as we care for her she will care for us.

We have forgotten who we are.
We have sought only our own security.
We have exploited simply for our own ends.
We have distorted our knowledge.
We have abused our power.

Great Spirit, whose dry lands thirst,
help us to find the way to refresh your lands.

Great Spirit, whose waters are choked with debris and pollution,
help us to find the way to cleanse your waters.

Great Spirit, whose beautiful earth grows ugly with mis-use,
help us to find the way to restore beauty to your handiwork.

Great Spirit, whose creatures are being destroyed,
help us to find a way to replenish them.

Great Spirit, whose gifts to us are being lost
in selfishness and corruption,
help us to find the way to restore our humanity.

Published in: on Thursday; 12 f, 2011 at 1:40 pm  Leave a Comment  
Tags: , , ,

10-10-10 Energies affecting Starseeds, Indigos, and Crystals

 

Archangel Michael
AA Michael ~ The New Earth Rises: November 2010
10 November 2010
Channeler: Celia Fenn

Tuesday, Nov. 9, 2010

The Flowers of Peace, Grace and Compassion, and the Diamond
Light Waves
Beloved Family of Light, it is with Great Joy that we come
to you at this time to speak of the New Energies that are
flooding your Planet and the New Forms that are being
brought into Manifestation at this time. At the 10/10/10
Portal or Stargate opening, you as Family of Light, held the
space to anchor the new energies of the Shekinah or Cosmic
Mother, and enabled the Formation of the New Grids of Light
that link the Oceans and the Land in a Planetary Unity as
One. Now, you are in the next phase of giving Form and
Physical Shape to these New Energies.

So, now let us speak first of the New Energy of Peace, Grace
and Compassion that is entering the Earth in the wake of the
10/10/10 Stargate. We call it the “Flowers of Peace, Grace
and Compassion” because it is being anchored in the most
beautiful Sacred Geometrical forms that are giving a Higher
Consciousness to the “Flower of Life” grids that give form
to your Planet and also the manifestations of Human Social
Structure and Interactions.

These new Flowers include the energies of Peace, Grace and
Compassion which are the gift and expression of the Shekinah
Light of the Great Earth Mother. The Shekinah Light has
anchored in the Earth’s field and is pulsating the
frequencies of Unconditional Love, Grace and Compassion.

The energy of Compassion creates a deep feeling of
connection with fellow beings on the Planet and a desire to
support the emergence into the Light of Higher Consciousness
for All. This, in turn, creates a desire to give form to a
society where all are supported and loved, and where all can
share in the abundance of material life. Compassion is a
gift of the Mother God or Divine Feminine that ensures that
all her Earthly Children know that they are Loved and
Supported at all times.

The energy of Grace follows Compassion, Beloved Ones. It is
the complete trust and acceptance of Divine Will and the
belief that Miracles can and do happen where Love and
Compassion are present. Grace is also a gift of the Divine
Mother and it supports those who choose to flow with the
energies of Cosmic Love that emanate from the Cosmic Heart.
In the last few years, Beloved Ones, we have spoken often to
you of the need for living in the Present Moment and being
willing to accept the Divine Will as it manifests in your
life in the flow of Creation and Synchronicity. Now is the
time that you will need these skills as the Powerful New
Energies sweeping the Planet bring deep and profound change
to your lives and your social structures. Beloved Ones, know
that Grace, Compassion and Miracles are here for your
support if you will Open your Hearts and Accept these gifts
of Divine Love.

In order to support your processes at this time, Beloved
Ones, we will explain how these energies will flow into form
in the next few months.
At the 10/10/10, you passed through an energetic stargate
that allowed you to expand into Higher Consciousness. You
might liken this to the energy of a Bridge. Those of you who
are awakened Family of Light were ready to pass across this
Bridge of Light. Your Higher Selves had been preparing you
to make this great Shift of Consciousness. And so, many of
you felt the need to leave situations that were not in
alignment with these new energies, even if you were not sure
what the next step would be and how you would give form and
expression to these New Energies in your lives.

At the 11/11 Stargate on the 11th of November, you will
begin to integrate these new energies more fully and you
will have a better understanding of how you should move
forward to express yourselves and your light in Love and
Compassion. You will better understand yourself and what you
need to achieve in this next phase of your life. Beloveds,
you will begin to align with a new phase of personal growth
and expansion in Love that will also support the expansion
and growth of the Planet.
By the 12/12 Stargate on the 12th of December, you will be
ready to give form to this new direction in your life. The
energies of Higher Consciousness will manifest in New
Directions for Work and Relationships.

Beloved Ones, if you feel confused and lost in these
powerful new energies, know that you are supported in this
Grand Process of Transformation and that it will be brought
into form and into alignment with Divine Will by the end of
the year. Remember to use the gifts of Compassion and Grace
for yourselves and to expect Synchronicities and Miracles in
the Flow of Divine Love.

The Waves of Diamond Light and the Next Phase of the Indigo
Crystal Adventure in Light
Beloved Ones, at the 10/10/10 and the opening of the
Stargate portal, the Waves of Diamond Light coming to the
Planet intensified. These have the effect of activating
Higher Consciousness and increasing the Fields of Love and
Peace on the Earth.
But, they are also being supported and enabled by the
arrival of the Diamond Rose Crystal Children. These are the
next “wave” of the Crystal Children, and these ones are born
in full Cosmic Consciousness and fully awake and connected
to the Spark of the Divine Light that they carry within.
Their energy field sparkles like Diamonds as they seed the
New Energies into the Collective Fields of Light on the
Earth.

At the same time, the Indigo-Crystal Beings on the Planet
are being activated and directed into the Next Phase of
their work according to the Divine Plan as expressed through
the Codes of Light. This is the work to be Channels and
Expressions of the New Energy and to assist in creating a
sustainable partnership with Nature so that the Planet has a
viable future in Peace, Love and Sustainability.

Many of the First and Second waves of Indigo Beings that
arrived on the Planet in the 1970s and 1980s will shift into
this New Consciousness and this New Work of Love. They will
feel called to work in Groups and in Projects that support
the emergence of a sustainable and compassionate way of life
on the Earth. This will also be felt by all the Beings who
have shifted through the Indigo and Crystal stages of
Transformation and are ready for the Diamond Rose
consciousness of Cosmic Wisdom as expressed on Planet Earth.

This is a deeply-grounded Consciousness that aligns the Soul
Star Chakra with the Earth Star Chakra. On the level of the
Soul Star Chakra, the Soul Akasha is awakening to memories
of Who You Are and your Cosmic Connection to the Stars. On
the level of the Earth Star Chakra, you are awakening to
deep memories of Collective Past Lives on the Earth and
accessing the wisdom of these lives from the Earth’s Akasha.

Together, these two flows of Wisdom mean that you are
receiving Light Codes and Information from the Highest
Sources available, and you are expanding in awareness and
consciousness. The waves of pure Diamond Light that enter
the Planet have the effect of “upgrading” the information
through New Forms of Sacred Light Geometry. These convey a
new impetus to evolve into new forms of being. Beloveds, it
is not surprising that you may feel exhausted and confused
as all this new information flows into your Light Bodies and
your cellular memories and DNA.

Your mind is not able to process this information. The mind
level and the mental body is given to process your present
life experience and to pass this information into the Earth
and Soul Akasha. The Mental Facility is limited. It is only
the Higher Consciousness channels and meridians in the Light
Body that you have developed in the last few years that are
able to process this information in connection with your
DNA.
Beloved Ones, the work of the Mind is to allow the rest of
the Multi-Dimensional Body to process and lead, and to be
aware of “instructions” that come from the Heart and through
the Body. When you align with these instructions you will
flow into Higher Forms of expression and love with Ease and
Grace and Joy.

We do indeed wish you Light, Joy and the Blessings of the
Flowers of Peace and Compassion and Grace in this month of
November.

Found on: StarchildGlobal

If you enjoed this channeled message from Archangel Michael I encourage you to visit Ronna Herman’s monthly messages here.

Making Space for Empowered Humans

Greetings from Home

Making Space for Empowered Humans

Dear ones, you have taken this day and altered every part of it. When this particular day was set into motion by the sun coming over the horizon, you had nothing but possibilities. You have altered everything that you have walked into in order to make space for your spirit to have a human experience. Now you are beginning to alter the entire universe to make space for empowered beings on planet Earth.

 We have spoken of the tremendous respect and honor that not only we have for you, but also the way the other beings of the universe look upon you.  They see Earth as one of the highest possibilities to learn from and to emulate in many ways. Yes, you look at your daily newspaper and see wars, challenges, problems, tsunamis, earthquakes and more. But we tell you that it is your evolution and expansion into your proper place in the universe that is opening up the possibilities for you to change every single day. That is the beauty that now stands before you, and the possibilities that you did not have even yesterday. Every day possibilities are starting to build for you, and we are asking you to simply become aware. There is nothing you need to do other than to begin to use this information, and use the higher capabilities that you have been hiding from yourself for so long. Your constant work to contain your energy field has been needed to bring and hold in your energy, to define yourself as a human. Now you are starting to let go of that restriction and there are some of the possibilities starting to take place. You will now have capabilities that you never have before, so let us share with you an overview and what to expect and how you can work with it.

 Beyond Field Theory

We have mentioned before that the year 2012 will reveal exposure to a type of radiation that you are already familiar with in many ways. However, you have never defined this radiation, for even your scientists are not completely comfortable in their understanding of what happens to a physical body inside of a magnetic field. What happens if you create a magnetic field around your body using very simple techniques?  Actually, humans do this every time they have a thought. The energy of each thought merges with the energy of all the other thoughts you hold as truth.  If the new thought successfully merges with your existing field, then the physical attraction process begins. This is the same way that you created your experience this morning when you first awoke and saw the sunlight as the first possibility of this day. When you have cosmic events that change the magnetics of your planet, every one of you feels that shift and does not quite know what to do with it. The upcoming exposure we are talking about may confuse or interrupt this process for some of you, especially those who seem to already have a natural sense of direction.

 This exposure to magnetic radiation is taking place with what you call solar flares, CMEs (Coronal Mass Ejections). Your sun is beginning to erupt again; there is a new cycle it is starting to move through. Your scientists have known about this because it happens frequently—roughly every 12 years the sun goes through another cycle. Now the Earth is evolving and the Sun is helping Earth to change. What is taking place is that you are receiving magnetic radiation from the sun all the time, yet when you receive these big influxes from the solar flares there are many ways you can be affected. They change the ground that you walk on, so you suddenly start walking down the same path you have been on and now feel queasy, uncertain and like you do not quite belong. This is because the entire environment is beginning to change beneath your feet. Even though you are evolving, your physical and emotional bodies are having difficulty with this. We tell you this because you are the healers and the teachers of planet Earth. Although each of you will experience some of these things, you are also the ones who can help other people to walk through this. You have agreed to be here first so that you could open the door and hold it open for others to follow.

 Magnetic Emotions

 So, what is taking place exactly? This magnetic radiation will hit humans emotionally—very strongly. It already has occurred and now you are starting to feel it.  You may feel as if you are being pushed to the edge, emotionally raw and spiritually exhausted. Watch what happens to your emotions when a solar flare erupts and 76 hours later. We will simply give you the number: 76 hours after a solar flare.. This time lapse has probably made you feel disconnected, but every human on planet Earth is likely to experience a roller coaster of emotions while this magnetic radiation is harmonizing. There is nothing wrong, nothing you need to worry about or fix. Simply be aware. Pay attention to what is taking place in your environment, for you are much more in control of it than you ever thought. It is when you are unaware of things that they catch you by surprise and quite often you cannot deal with them. Be conscious of the fact that as you walk outside and feel the sun, it is more than the heat, gamma rays, and x-rays that it sends. It is a compilation of magnetic, light energy and your exposure to it over the next year and a half may have a direct impact on your emotions.

Now, the question is, what can you do about it? What are some tools to support you while walking through this changing environment? Even though the ground is shifting beneath your feet, you can stay on an even keel and get from Point A to Point B rather painlessly. This is something we mentioned before and wish to revisit today. It is called light grounding, which is simply a way for you to ground light energy in your physical body. It has been something each and every one of you have worked with and learned to do on a small automatic scale, much like the way you have never learned how to consciously breathe. We will teach you how to take this particular reaction out of the automatic realm and make it a conscious act, which will make it much easier for you to evolve past the upcoming changes. There is literally an energy field that each of you can create rather quickly a neutral field for you where you can catch your breath during these intense times.  

 Light Grounding

Envision that you have a filter around yourself that protects you from the magnetic shifting. It is here to affect the Earth and needs to. Although it will still affect you as you filter this energy through, this could be the first form of light grounding we will teach you. Keep in mind that what we call “light” is something different than what you do. You consider light to be a very small part of the electromagnetic spectrum; we call it the entire spectrum, plus a great deal that humans do not yet see. This is much bigger than what you consider light, because magnetism is a part of light and one of the pieces we have never learned to ground. There are many circuits, techniques, and devices that will protect you from magnetic fields and shield you from EMF radiation. Even though those approaches have worked well before, very few of them will be effective at this level because little of what you have on planet Earth will protect you from what we is coming. Rather than protect yourself, we ask you to learn to ground and use the energy. Adapt and harmonize rather than resist.

It is not that you need to run for protection either, because you are the masters of the Gameboard. You are the little gods pretending to be human. Because of that you can do it all with no problem, but we also want to tell you what is coming and share what the capabilities and why you set these in motion. So why is the Earth radiating? Why is it important to change the magnetics of Earth even further than what they originally thought would be necessary? It is because of you. You have evolved past what you had as the highest potential even five years ago.  

Harmonics Are the Trigger

 It is now possible to start working with harmonics. Harmonics are very simple. If you hit a note on a piano keyboard and look at the strings inside the piano, you will see that each one of those is vibrating.  We have shared this with you before. Now you are learning how to straighten out the wave. You are learning how to fit harmonics to reach levels of vibration you have never been able to reach before and extend distances never thought possible. They were always just out of your reach. Now, through harmonics, you can reach and effect change in your own energy much easier than ever before. It is something you are unaccustomed to using. So even though it has been in your world for a long time you never knew you could control it, but you can control the amount of magnetism that reaches your physical body. Similar to that you know the sun can do damage so you use sun block on your skin that only allows certain amounts of radiation from the sun through. The same will be true with the magnetic filters you place on yourself. Before we give you the xyz on exactly how to do it, play with it and find it yourself. Even if we give you a modality that shows you exactly how to do this, it will not be as effective as if you find it yourself. Listen to that inner voice; it will tell you how to harmonize and pull this through. That is the piece we are working with not only here in these rooms, but in every message we give you.

You have been walking on this planet pretending to be separate from each other, and that is about to end. It is starting to take place because as you begin to expand, there is no room for the separation anymore. It is magical. You start to understand your connection and harmonics with another person or a group of people. It is magical and simple, yet it is always going to take the people who do it first. It will always take the people who stand in front and dare to make the mistakes, as you call them, who dare to push, to try something new and work with it. This is the beginning of something we are calling “light grounding,” and there will be much more coming from it. Much of your experience here on this planet has been how to evolve and ascend. We are the first to tell you to stay here on Earth. Anchor that piece of you on the planet firmly, then you can expand without the problems because there will be all kinds of challenges if you begin expanding and moving into a large energy field without clear definition or without grounding. The grounding part is what allows you to pretend to be a human. That is what allows the beauty of Home to shine through your eyes when you smile, and to be seen in everything that you do. It is why you came to Earth. Welcome Home. Now you know that this is going to be a journey. Each and every one of you is going to find slightly different answers and when you start connecting the whole, you will get the bigger picture. It is the way humanity has always worked.  Let us pull back for just a moment. We will work personally on light grounding with you and give you much more information as time goes forward. Let us speak of the emotional changes that will be occurring on planet Earth.

You have a disorder you labeled depression, which is liable to run rampant for a time on planet Earth. Magnetism is likely to set people into this emotion and when they get into a specific groove, whatever that is. That groove is very difficult to move out of, because depression is one of the energies that feeds upon itself and it is basically a lot of light grounding. Many of you have dealt with this for much of your lives; you often can call it clinical depression or causal depression. It is an energy that has existed here and is equated to what you call dark energy in the universe. It is not bad. Do not call it bad, for you place yourself in duality the moment you do that. Instead, take what you have and learn to use it. There are ways of being able to use it, and you can protect yourself from the cause of it. Watch the sun, paying special attention to the 76- hour mark after the explosion although the actual magnetic waves will start coming in before that. You will be able to see the Aurora Borealis in unlikely places such as Arkansas and Texas, or in different places in the universe that have never experience these anomalies. It is also happening in your body as your body starts to adjust and change. The easiest way to cope is to reach out and hold somebody’s hand, because every one of you is going through this together. Yet, when you go through it, the first thing you do is pull back your hand and think that this is all about you. That is part of the natural contraction of an energy field during these times. We tell you, dear ones, that you have a choice as do the clients that each of you is going to work with. There are techniques that will make all of this a bit easier as you move forward.

 Physical Changes 

Humanity is changing. It seems you do not even fit in your physical bodies any more. Your bodies are beginning to evolve to make space for the new and empowered human, but so are a lot of things including many of the social and economic structures you have on your planet. Here is the challenge. You have typically defined success as being able to repeat something over and over again. So, you become very comfortable in your little ruts. To be human is to typically find your own rut, because that is where your comfort or safety zone is. However, that is now changing. Many of you will start moving beyond your comfort zones yet not knowing where you are going, for that is the beauty of this expansion. Everyone is beginning to expand because you were holding your energy fields in all that time. Now you are returning to an expansive field that is more native to your soul. The social and economic structures will attempt to try to the old ways and may even cause more difficulties before finally adapting. The problem is that some of them think they are in charge and can determine your future. 

Change the Structure

 Even if you have an economic re-set like you have recently, the economic and social structures are going to go back to playing the game exactly the way they did before, for they consider it successful because it worked before. So, they are going back to these structures until they hear from you that it will no longer work. If you are depressed or wondering who you are, we ask you to become comfortable with your truth for now is the time to start speaking your truth and stop holding back. If you have ever wondered who you truly were or if one person could make a difference, now is the time to act. It is the time for each one of you to outgrow the ruts that your societies, economic structures, schools and other institutions have been stuck in. Now is the time to change, because that is what will help your children, the next generation, to move into this energy that was so difficult for you to evolve into. It is time to get angry and fed up with yourself and your environments, and to create the new structures that support empowered humans. The world has been toying with this whole idea of war for so long, so why has it been so difficult to get rid of war? War became a wonderful business, a rut that has been successful for a very long time. Now we are going to ask you to wage war on yourselves instead. Kill with love. Share with kindness and do everything you can to go in the opposite direction, but let your voice be heard. It is time.

You are not going to represent all of humanity, but you can certainly represent yourself. What does and does not work for you? It is time to start grounding your needs, wants and desires, because the moment you do that–even though you may not make a difference over here–you have clearly defined your world and started building a new energy and magnetic structure around those thoughts. That is light grounding. We tell you, dear ones; it is time for you to speak out about what you are feeling. Every time you connect with that energy, you are creating heaven here on earth. It is time for a new kind of war, it is time we kill each other with kindness and love. You can begin that today.

Dear ones, there are so many changes happening so quickly. We wish we could give you the answers so that you could be in the right place at the right time. We know that many of you have intentionally set yourselves out of sync so that you could do something very important, and all of you are going to have that chance. So, no matter where you find yourself now and over the next few years, know that you are being guided. Know that if you listen, you will receive that information directly through your own heart. Ground that light into the most beautiful energy on Planet Earth, for it will anchor you in all the days to come. Together you can hold hands and walk into this next evolution.

It is with the greatest of honor that we greet you this day we ask you simply to treat each other with the greatest of respect. Nurture one another every chance you get and play well together.

Espavo.

The group

Found at www.lightworker.com

Suggestions for healers to be most effective

 

The Twelve Paradigms: (From the book Spiritual Psychology by Steve Rother)

The following 12 Paradigms for Facilitating Healing in the 5th Dimension are intended to help you to both define higher truths for yourself, as well as keep your balance while creating space for others to heal themselves.

1. Focus on Empowerment.
Healing in the higher vibrations of the New Earth can only take place when each person holds their own power. This means that our first concern and our first intent must always be to find ways to facilitate others without taking their power from them.

2. Healing by Request.
Henceforth, all healing facilitation must be by request only. It is no longer possible in the new energy to facilitate healing for another without their specifically requesting it.

3. Intent.
In the New Energy, it is only possible to facilitate healing with the highest intent. Remember – on the New Planet Earth. . . there will be no more secrets. Thus, as facilitators, we must allow ourselves and our motivations to be fully apparent.

4. Perception.
Understand that illness is not always a sign that something is wrong. There are times when illness is necessary to facilitate change, and our role is merely to help facilitate that process. It’s important to recognize that illness is only one state of health, and that a healing facilitator must learn to work with all states in order to create environments where health prevails.

5. Truth.
As a facilitator it is important to always speak one’s own truth. Yet, in doing so, we must acknowledge that truth is always a work in progress. Thus, leave yourself room for growth in the words you speak, and speak your truth in a fashion that allows others to stand in their own truth without feeling threatened by yours. Honor all flavors of the truth, no matter how different they may seem from your own. Remember – competition is only an illusion of polarity on the Gameboard.

6. Balanced Ego.
A balanced ego is necessary in order to facilitate healing. Thus, as facilitators, it is necessary for us to check our egos often and to examine truthfully our own motivations for our actions or words. If our ego grows too big, it will cut us off from our source. Yet, if it is not big enough, we will never take our place as a healer.

7. Discernment.
We must learn to practice the art of discernment in making choices without judgment; to monitor carefully what enters our field, and to be discriminating about choosing only those things and ideas that complement our own vibration. Everything else should be released without judgment. We do not have to be a part of everything. Rather, we must learn to choose only what feeds and nurtures us.

8. Creating Safe Space.
The wisest words that a facilitator can use are: “I do not know.” Thus, even as we are teaching, we must make space for the empowerment of others. None of us has all of the answers, but together, all of us have access to all of the answers.

9. Vulnerability.
Our true strength as healers lies in being able to be vulnerable. It is our humanness that makes us special. We must learn to let this shine through in all that we do, and to share mistakes openly with others. In this way, our perceived weaknesses will soon become our greatest strengths.

10. Mastery of Thought.
Remember – we may not have control over the thoughts that enter our heads, but we do have complete control over what stays there. Thus it is our responsibility to become a master of our own thoughts and to share this process with those with whom we work.

11. Motivation.
It’s important to understand that everyone has the same base motivation. Fundamentally, we are all like little children, fumbling around in a darkened room, searching for the door back into the light. The easiest way to find the Light while not hurting one another is to hold hands.

12. Responsibility.
It is not possible to heal another. It is only possible to create and offer them space in which to heal themselves, if they so choose. So do not take responsibility for the healing of anyone other than yourself. If you should find yourself drained of energy by your clients it is because you are taking responsibility for their healing. Remember that responsibility is the balance of power. Help those you facilitate to take responsibility for their own healing so that they may hold their true power.

If you enjoyed this visit www.lightworker.com to gather more ideas.

90 minute Online Events In the Evolution Center

The 12 Paradigms

Suggestions for healers to be most effective.

Presented in 4 online sessions in the Lightworker Evolution Center.

Groovy blast from the past

Some good Beatles tunes, with a nifty message. Will make you laugh, tap your toes, and perhaps even provoke some deep thinking.

Create a Rainbow Bridge for 2012

Part 1:

Part 2:

The truth about Santa and Satan.

Hope this makes you smile!

As a young girl in catholic school, I was often overcome with an such unease that I would literally become sick. Fevers, stomaches, headaches, there was always something wrong.

Amazingly, it all disappeared when I entered public school. Children are tapped into their emotional guidance systems so well, that I find it hard to reason lying to a child.  What do you think?

On with the show! …

Published in: on Saturday; 24 f, 2009 at 2:01 pm  Comments (2)  

Lawns and Humor

GOD AND ST. FRANCIS DISCUSSING LAWNS

GOD: Francis, you know all about gardens and nature. What in the world is going on down there? What happened to the dandelions, violets, thistle and stuff I started eons ago? I had a perfect, no-maintenance garden plan. Those plants grow in any type of soil, withstand drought and multiply with abandon. The nectar from the long lasting blossoms attracts butterflies, honey bees and flocks of songbirds. I expected to see a vast garden of colors by now. But all I see are these green rectangles.

ST. FRANCIS: It’s the tribes that settled there, Lord. The Suburbanites. They started calling your flowers “weeds” and went to great lengths to kill them and replace them with grass.

GOD: Grass? But it’s so boring. It’s not colorful. It doesn’t attract butterflies, birds and bees, only grubs and sod worms. It’s temperamental with temperatures. Do these Suburbanites really want all that grass growing there?

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently so, Lord. They go to great pains to grow it and keep it green. They begin each spring by fertilizing grass and poisoning any other plant that crops up in the lawn.

GOD: The spring rains and warm weather probably make grass grow really fast. That must make the Suburbanites happy.

ST. FRANCIS: Apparently not, Lord. As soon as it grows a little, they cut it-sometimes twice a week.

GOD: They cut it? Do they then bale it like hay?

ST. FRANCIS: Not exactly, Lord. Most of them rake it up and put it in bags.

GOD: They bag it? Why? Is it a cash crop? Do they sell it?

ST. FRANCIS: No Sir. Just the opposite. They pay to throw it away.

GOD: Now let me get this straight. They fertilize grass so it will grow. And when it does grow, they cut it off and pay to throw it away?

ST. FRANCIS: Yes, Sir.

GOD: These Suburbanites must be relieved in the summer when we cut back on the rain and turn up the heat. That surely slows the growth and saves them a lot of work.

ST. FRANCIS: You aren’t going to believe this Lord. When the grass stops growing so fast, they drag out hoses and pay more money to water it so they can continue to mow it and pay to get rid of it.

 

GOD: What nonsense. At least they kept some of the trees. That was a sheer stroke of genius, if I do say so myself. The trees grow leaves in the spring to provide beauty and shade in the summer. In the autumn they fall to the ground and form a natural blanket to keep moisture in the soil and protect the trees and bushes. Plus, as they rot, the leaves form compost to enhance the soil. It’s a natural circle of life.

ST. FRANCIS: You better sit down, Lord. The Suburbanites have drawn a new circle. As soon as the leaves fall, they rake them into great piles and pay to have them hauled away.

GOD: No. What do they do to protect the shrub and tree roots in the winter and to keep the soil moist and loose?

ST. FRANCIS: After throwing away the leaves, they go out and buy something which they call mulch. They haul it home and spread it around in place of the leaves.

GOD: And where do they get this mulch?

ST. FRANCIS: They cut down trees and grind them up to make the mulch.

GOD: Enough. I don’t want to think about this anymore. St. Catherine, you’re in charge of the arts. What movie have they scheduled for us tonight?”

ST. CATHERINE: “Dumb and Dumber”, Lord. It’s a really stupid movie about…..

GOD: Never mind, I think I just heard the whole story from St. Francis.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 29 other followers